Kittay House Happenings

October 2009

There for Each Other: a Lifelong Friendship

Everyday Rhoda Kaufman, 88, and Shirley Friedman, 84, meet to eat lunch and dinner together. They live in their own apartments and have their own circles of friends, but first and foremost, they have each other. Rhoda and Shirley are sisters, as well as tenants at Kittay House

Rhoda moved to Kittay from Manhattan, where she was a court reporter for 50 years. She worked for the Supreme Court downtown and reported as a freelancer until she retired at age 70. When her husband broke his hip, the chores, grocery shopping and housekeeping became too much. She visited 20 residences before deciding upon Kittay House. Now widowed, Rhoda has been living at Kittay for three years.

Shirley moved into Kittay a little over a year ago. Up until then, she was living in a beautiful Bay Terrance apartment, which she loved. She worked as a billing clerk for a science publisher until retiring in her mid-70s. She and Rhoda would meet in Manhattan regularly to visit Lincoln Center, museums and the theater. Shirley would often visit Rhoda at Kittay for lunch, only to end up staying for dinner and sleeping over.

Between the high points of seeing her sister, Shirley realized that she was lonely. The people in her building and neighborhood were much younger. Like Rhoda, her children and grandchildren lived out of state, and she was widowed. It was then that Shirley decided to move into Kittay.

The sisters have always been very close, but they lead individual lives at Kittay, each pursuing her own interests, enjoying her own friends and of course, keeping her own apartment. "We enjoy doing many of the same things. And should Rhoda need me, I'm here for her and she's there for me," says Shirley. "But if we lived together, it wouldn't be for long," she adds, with a big grin.

Rhoda and Shirley have each found their niches and passions at Kittay. Rhoda is the Kittay Tenant Association President and attends Yiddish Speaking Class. Every Monday, she protests the war in Iraq with fellow tenants on the corner of Webb Ave and Kingsbridge Road. She also organizes shows of classic movies for tenants three nights a week. Both Rhoda and Shirley are in the Women's Discussion Group at Kittay. Shirley is also an accomplished Trivial Pursuit player and attends the Jewish Study Group.

At Kittay there is always a breadth of activities and opportunities for tenants. Nothing less would satisfy the sisters' thirst for knowledge, culture and adventure. They love the Kittay field trips. "They are very well-organized," says Rhoda. "Yesterday we went to City Island for lunch." Shirley and Rhoda take Access-a-Ride into Manhattan several times a month for performances and museums, and they always take the subway home. They also recently returned from a 15-day Elder Hostel cruise to Norway, Iceland, Scotland and London. On the trip, the daring duo even went cliff climbing.

Living at Kittay has given the sisters a chance to build their own communities, stay active and have even more adventures together. Most importantly, it has made sure that the comfort and joy of a life-long friend is only a few doors away.